I feel lost. All my thoughts, plans and ideas aren’t working for me.
The last two years have been really difficult. A conflict and a series of small and large unpleasant experiences have made it impossible for me to find a solution.
I’m creative, I’m talented, I’m interested, pragmatic – a go-getter. No matter what I am, the working world only cares if it suits them. Preferably with certificates, degrees and in line with the norm.
I’m just tired of it. All this capitalist bullshit just makes me sick.
There has to be some way to find a job where I can learn, where I’m paid enough to pay my rent, where I have freedom.
It’s all well and good that people with ADHD are super welcome in IT, as long as they’re self-taught prodigies who have a permanent hyperfocus on ‘getting shit done.’
In what other fields is that the case? And what about other people with ADHD who don’t have hyperfocus and have pain thresholds?
My CV is three pages long. I have AuDHD. I have often found myself forced to take the best job available, from employers who wanted to hire me, in a field I studied or which ‘somehow fit’ my profile. And that’s exactly what bothers many employers. ‘Oh – someone who’s changed jobs a lot, they probably won’t want to stay with us.’
Why don’t you think about how you could make yourselves more attractive, welcoming and pleasant as employers, so that people who are interested in working for you also want to stay and invest their limited and precious time in you?
Because it’s possible. Despite the shortage of skilled workers, there are employers who treat people badly without suffering any harm.
There are so many ways to treat job seekers like shit, thanks capitalism.
I’m just incredibly tired of this performance-based system.
I find my personal financial situation humiliating. I live in a country where there is the luxury of unemployment benefits and emergency assistance. However, these authorities do not focus on further training, retraining or promoting talent. The primary goal is to get job seekers back into the labour market as quickly as possible, regardless of whether it is a job that suits them or not.
The unconditional basic income would be perfect for me. It would give me the financial security to devote myself to work that is close to my heart, that interests me, that I am already good at, that I want to learn more about, and where I want to give my best.
I am tired of this.
A diagnosis of AuDHD does not help you find the right job, it does not help with motivation, commitment or ‘getting on with it’ – that’s what I do, not my AuDHD. But with AuDHD, some days, in some situations and in the reality of work, the whole thing is just exhausting, tiring and difficult.
Behavioural therapy is of little use if you don’t have a job. You can’t practise, train or discuss things in a targeted way.
The barrier to entry for neurodivergent people outside the self-taught IT cloud is simply too high.
I’m tired of it.
Would I like to work in IT? Yes, I would. Do I believe I can learn things with time and self-motivation? Yes. Can I do it without financial security, time and freedom from home – and then apply for a job and secure a position? No.
As long as there are no companies that invest in motivated newcomers until they are at a level where they can also bring economic benefits to the company, I don’t see myself in this working environment. No matter how motivated I am, that’s not how I’m wired.
After years of getting to know myself, I have learned that financial security is my top priority. I see little chance of learning, tackling or acquiring anything I want to if I don’t have financial security.
Constant fear and worry that I will be put on a programme by the employment office that will be of no use to my professional development, programmes that will put me in a job that will destroy me, jobs that will drain me psychologically to such an extent that I will go on long-term sick leave after six months, make it almost impossible for me to be self-employed and motivate me to continue my education ‘from home’. to continue my education in such a way that I can find an easy entry point.
What do these companies with a shortage of skilled workers want? A fake CV and secretive task completion using AI? I know people who have done exactly that. They were caught very late or not at all and cost their employers a lot of money for very poor performance. The people I know who have done this are exclusively men, and they are brazen.
As a person socialised as a woman, I am rarely able to lie about my abilities, claim that I can do everything, and then stand there and know nothing. That’s shit. Why do people get away with shit like that, and honesty only gets you to the next traffic light?
I’m tired of it.
I have talent, I can do a lot, but I can neither use nor show it. The financial pressure, the lack of security and the fear of not being able to make a living are currently forcing me to watch as I waste my life.
My visits to websites offering jobs for the self-employed, all kinds of things, for little money, for a lot of commitment, even there I can’t give my all, as long as the system around me, with insurance, income, taxes and financial demands from the housing market, demands so much income from me that I am unable to earn that amount and still be able to buy food at the end of the day or experience any form of security.
I’m tired of it.
